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  • Fanon Damara:

    ME SO HORNY!!!!!

  • Canon Damara:

    YOU MAD BRO?

  • Fanon Rufioh:

    Haha....yeah doll.....1 w1sh 1 was normal sometimes.....

  • Canon Rufioh:

    Haha....yeah doll....1 w1sh 1 had more self confidence.....1'm not nearly as amaz1ng as everyone th1nks.... what do you mean "What do you mean everyone?"?

  • Fanon Mituna:

    TUL4 TUL4 TUL444 1M FELL DOWN!!!??!!111 K155 MY BOOBOO

  • Canon Mituna:

    7 VAGANIA5. M4BY3 MOR3. IMANGINE... OW FUCK 1 5WE4R TO G0GDGDGD FL00R 1F YOU DON'T C3LM ETH FUCK DOWN 1 W1LL 2I48YT8QM4830JQF NVQHIOQJFQ22408 .... H3Y L4TUL4 1 G0T 4 800800 0N MY 8ULG3 3H3H3H3H3H3H3

  • Fanon Kankri:

    6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah TW TW TW (# OH GOD I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME.)

  • Canon Kankri:

    Furtherm9re, I think I speak f9r all 9f us *right s9rt* 9f pe9ple that acting in such a pr96lematic manner (# not to mention disagreeing with because WTF that practically means y9u disagree with s9cial pr9gress as a c9ncept) means y9u have internalized a6liesm, casteism, speciesism, and yes, even the very min9r prejudice of sexism, meaning even th9ugh you are (allegedly) warm6looded, disa6led, m*tant, and female, y9u are, perhaps, w9rse than regular privileged individuals, which I must say is n9t a very flattering way of 6eing. It w9uld 6e m9re c9nducive t9 a safe space if you were t9, y9u kn9w, st9p existing, 6ut such is the way 9f the w9rld, isn't it? (#H9nestly we pretty much want y9u t9 kill y9urself #6ut I can't say THAT al9ud, can I?)

  • Fanon Meulin:

    SQUEEEEEEEE!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!

  • Canon Meulin:

    ....SQUEEEEEEE!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!

  • Fanon Porrim:

    *Flirts with everyone, poses sexily yet classily*

  • Canon Porrim:

    Well, there's a lo+t o+f co+ntinuity between befo+ran and earth concepts of gender hierarchy, mo+re than yo+u may think. It's really a fascinating to+pic, if yo+u aren't to+o+ bo+thered by it. Listen, I so+metimes think I give Kanny a little bit to+o+ much freedo+m... do+n't let his to+xic ideas abo+ut gender get to yo+u. Remember to+ keep expo+ring yo+urself in a way that's co+mfo+rtable in yo+ur o+wn skin, and kno+w yo+u can talk to+ me. :)

  • Fanon Latula:

    y34h, l3tz g3t d4ng3rous!!!! (#Internally moons about teen love triangle drama)

  • Canon Latula:

    y34h, l3tz g3t d4ng3rous!!!! (#Internally suppresses a panic attack possibly related to a legitimate anxiety disorder)

  • Fanon Aranea:

    I was never a8le to help myself...To many people knew I was worthless.... 8ut that doesn't mean I can't help you :::::).

  • Canon Aranea:

    I was never a8le to help myself... too many people thought I was worthless, probably secretly jealous of my superior a8liities, kindness, and intellect.... 8ut that doesn't mean I can't help you ::::).

  • Fanon Horuss:

    8=D < Uguu desu ne~~~

  • Canon Horuss:

    8=D < It behooves me to act hapfilly all the time! *SCREAMING AND SOBBING INTERNALLY*

  • Fanon Kurloz:

    :o)

  • Canon Kurloz:

    :o) (# ALL WILL BOW BEFORE THE WICKED-ASS AGE OF BLOOD. INFIDEL PUPPETS, TAKE YOUR PLACE AT MY HAND. I AM BUT THE HUMBLE SERVANT OF THE GREAT ONE. YOUR SOULS WILL KNOW THE FAYGO-SWEET KISS OF TOTAL ANNIHILATION SOON ENOUGH, AND YOUR PAIN WILL BE SMOTHERED BY THE COLD GREASEPAINT OF NOTHINGNESS.)

  • Fanon Cronus:

    Another rejection... sigh... guess I'm just as wvorthless as evweryone says.

  • Canon Cronus:

    Another rejection. Another ungrateful shitlord. Do they knowv wvhat an HONOR it wvould be? If I felt like it, and they're lucky I don't because they're not wvorth the effort, I could maybe let them knowv wvhat it means to offend royalty... Oh wvait, someone's coming... *SOB* OOOH GUESS I'M JUST AS WVORTHLESS AS EVWERYONE SAYS *HEAVE*.

  • Fanon Meenah:

    *Is Nicki Minaj*

  • Canon Meenah:

    yeah I killed and attempted to kill several people who probs didnt deserve it but whatevs

  • (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)

  • Customer:

    “Excuse me, sir?”

  • Me:

    “Yes, ma’am?”

  • Customer:

    “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”

  • Me:

    “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”

  • Customer:

    “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”

  • (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)

  • Me:

    “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”

  • Customer:

    “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”

  • (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)

  • Owner:

    “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”

  • Owner:

    “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”

  • (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)

  • Homeless Man:

    *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”

  • Owner:

    *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

  • (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

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